How to Plan a Groundhog Day Party

Each year people watch in amazement as a fat rodent is plucked from the earth and hailed as a magical wonder of meteorology. People stare intently for his reaction, for if he sees his shadow it means six more weeks of winter.As much of the country is buried in snow on February 2nd, Groundhog Day is a day that gives people hope of an early spring.

Anthropologically speaking, Groundhog Day is a late winter fertility ritual which honors the most revered of ground burrowers and serves as a community binding mechanism. Groundhog Day establishes bonds between society members by rooting their belief system in animistic beings.

For many people Groundhog Day is the highlight of their social calendar - children lay awake for weeks anticipating the day and communities painstakingly prepare for the social event of the season. Quite simply, Groundhog Day is the party of the year.

Oddly, many people have problems planning and holding a Groundhog Day celebration of their own. As they come up empty-handed at the party stores looking for decorations, many people give up. Certainly, as one scours the internet, there is a dearth of information on Groundhog Day parties. It is no wonder why the celebration-minded yet tragically-uncreative have difficulty hosting a Hog Day fest.

Everyone knows that formal wear is the traditional and appropriate dress for Groundhog Day. Men should be in tuxedos, preferably with tails and should always be accessorized with a fine top hat. The best top hats for Groundhog Day are made of seal skin and fashioned by a haberdasher that lives in a small village outside of Brussels. Of course, only the inner circle of the Groundhog Society know the exact name and address of this famous hat maker.

Women do have a little more flexibility than men with their costume, but they should be dressed respectfully in an evening gown that sizzles sexuality. Remember ladies this is a fertility festival after all. Of course, for those who wish to stay away from fertility at all costs - Do not rub the groundhog's chin! Rubbing a groundhog's chin has always been good luck for women looking to bear children.

Originating in Latin American Groundhog Day festivals, the groundhog pinata is an age-old tradition across many parties today. Though pinatas in the shape of a groundhog are difficult to find, anyone who has ever taken 8th-grade Spanish knows how to make a pinata. Alternatively many people think that the Looney Toon character Taz looks a lot like a rabid groundhog. Luckily Taz pinatas are easy to come by.

Traditionally the pinata is broken after the groundhog makes his weather prediction. Also parties usually have two pinatas: one for children and one for adults. The children's pinata is filled with candy and small toys but the adult pinata is hardly ever filled. Adults just like taking out their frustrations on the local weathermen and hate cleaning up a mess afterward.

Though early Americans roasted groundhog on a spit in their celebrations of Groundhog Day, modern day festivities shy away from consuming our burrowing friend. Many believe it is like eating rabbit on Easter or the heart of a loved one on Valentine's Day.

Most now opt for pig roasts and a medley of tropical fruit with a decidedly Hawaiian theme. No one knows why a Hawaiian dinner, poi and all, is now the thing to do - it just is. Groundhog Day centers around the country often furnish parties with hula skirts and leis. You haven't seen anything until you've seen a groundhog in a novelty coconut bra.

As far as drinks go - it's alcohol for the adults and lots of it. Seriously, you are standing out in the cold staring at a groundhog. If you're not intoxicated there is something seriously wrong with you.

Many communities promote the health properties of drinking groundhog milk, believing that it builds strong bones and keen eyesight. Children enjoy groundhog milk as a special treat this time of year, especially when world famous groundhog milk shakes are served. Some children are even lucky enough to visit a farm where they are able to milk their own groundhog, which is an awesome experience for anyone at any age.

It doesn't get more fun than a person in a blindfold with a sharp pin trying to find a groundhog's hindquarters. Well, at least as much fun you can have and not end up naked. Though I have heard of some rather wild pin the tail on the groundhog collegiate level championships.

Of course, many of you are wondering if groundhogs even have tails. Some of you just pictured a large flat tail emerging from their posterior, but you have the wrong mammal - you are thinking of a beaver. But groundhogs do indeed have a 6-inch furry little tail.

The best pin the tail on the groundhog games are homemade.

1. Sketch a large 3-foot or more picture of a groundhog sticking his hindquarters out on a piece of cardboard.
2. Cut carefully around the picture, but hold on to the scrap cardboard - you'll use it for the tail later.
3. Paint the picture to you liking. If you want to dress the groundhog up in a little outfit that is permissible.
4. Cut out small groundhog tails out of the scrap cardboard you had earlier. You'll need to make at least one tail for everyone at your party. If you already threw the carboard away - what is wrong with you? I told you to hold on to it! I even put it in bold - ugh...
5. Glue hair onto the groundhog tails for a realistic texture. Barber shops are great places to find unwanted hair. If you are short on time, try snaking the bathtub drain, for there is always hair there.
6. Stick a large sharp push pin or nail through the end of the tail. The sharper the better.
7. Blindfold everyone, stick a tail in their hand, and watch the fun happen.

Happy Groundhog Day Everyone!

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